Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Things I learned this year...

About life:

1. There are rarely second chances so grab onto opportunities the first time they come around
2. People tend to like you better when you show them the real you, not the you that you think they want to see (see the quote at the top of Ezzie's blog).
3. A good attitude usually draws people to you, a negative one usually pushes them away. People generally tend to like being around happy people, not moody ones (who are moody for no reason - this is different than those who have reason to be upset, in a bad mood, etc.)
4. Don't make assumptions
5. Everyone is flawed. Usually the closer you are with someone, the better you know their flaws. Just because people seem nearly flawless when you barely know them doesn't mean they don't have the same struggles as everyone else when you get past that surface-level understanding. Even people who are brilliant or talented or really popular have flaws and fears and obstacles to overcome.
6. Be cautious, but not too cautious. It's good to think before you act, but if you spend forever thinking, you'll never do anything. At a certain point, stop testing the water. Just jump in.

About me:

1. Usually a good mood and a good day go hand in hand
2. Usually a bad mood and a bad day go hand in hand
3. I definitely need alone time, but I also love being around my friends. I don't even have to be talking to them, but just being in the same room as them gives me the security and warmth of knowing that there are people who care about me and they're there with me.
4. In a similar vein, I don't love huge crowds - especially of people I don't know - but I do love small groups of close friends. Especially if the friends are people I'm really close with, it's like an extended fake family or something.
5. Even though I'm afraid to sometimes, I can pull off being assertive. And I usually feel really good afterwards, too.
6. The less people bother me about things, the more inclined I am to do them. However, there's a difference between being bothered and being encouraged/being given moral support. I love having the latter because it means people care. I don't love the former so much.
7. I'm insanely shy except when I reach a certain comfort level with a friend, and then I can get rather bubbly. I like that side of me and I really liked seeing it come out this year.
8. I love being there for my friends - as an ear, a confidant, an adviser of sorts, or a companion. In fact, I'm happiest when I'm all four. It makes me feel important to them.

Things I'm working on learning:

1. Friends don't desert each other for no reason. Just because I haven't spoken to someone in a bit doesn't mean they've stopped thinking about me or stopped wanting to talk to me.
2. If I want certain results, I really do have to put in the effort. Life isn't as easy as certain classes in school.
3. Know myself. Listen to myself. If my instincts tell me something, they're probably right. Also, I have to stop confusing real instincts with instincts based on imagination.
4. Just because I have no real frame of reference doesn't mean I should put down things that happen to me. If something happens to me that's big, I should recognize it as big, not say, "but I'm Erachet, things like that don't happen to me." On the other hand, don't blow things out of proportion. Something can go wrong - that doesn't make the whole day bad.
5. Related to the first part of 4 - give myself a break. I'm allowed to be upset or scared or both. Just because my world isn't coming to an end doesn't mean I have to keep everything inside out of fear of bothering people. My friends want to be there for me, they don't want me to have to take every little blow - because all those little blows will eventually add up to something too big for one person to handle. A reaction to an issue that's really bothering me is not "eh, I'll get over it eventually."
6. Don't be afraid to talk to people I'm not super comfortable with yet. I'm never going to become friends with people if I'm too shy to talk to them.
7. The more confidence I have in myself, the more confidence others will have in me.
8. I can't fix the world.

Just because I learned these things does not at all mean I've mastered them, but I work on them all the time. And there's still so much more for me to learn...

1 comment:

Scraps said...

It's ok not to have mastered all these things yet. A lot of them aren't easy things to master, and they will take a lot of work. But being aware of them and internalizing them is the first step, and often the hardest. I think it takes a lot of maturity and self-awareness to come to a lot of these realizations. Color me impressed! :)