What's Bad For Shidduchim Might Be Good For Future Olim

Ezzie wrote a post nominating Bad4Shidduchim to go on the NBN Jblogger convention and blog about a family making Aliyah.

I agree wholeheartedly with his decision and with the reasons for it. Not only will this be a great opportunity for Nefesh B'Nefesh to utilize a blogger who will bring their message out to a unique reader-base, it will also be an amazing bad-for-shidduchim-points-getting opportunity for Bad4.

For example:

1. Being involved with Nefesh B'Nefesh, a tzioni organization that helps Jews make aliyah to Israel - wait, did I say tzioni? Definitely bad for shidduchim.

2. No longer being anonymous, thereby letting the whole Jewish world know she has a blog - could be pretty bad for shidduchim.

3. Participating in a co-ed convention - GASP.

4. Being nominated on blogs, thereby drawing attention to herself - QUITE untznius!

5. Wearing a ponytail in public, especially if she gets on the livefeed camera at the convention - couldn't be WORSE for shidduchim!

I do hope she has the good sense to not wear any make-up while at the convention, or she might get some bad for shidduchim points deducted. I'll have to consult with my fellow judges on that one.

So, you see, supporting Bad4's opportunity to win an NBN trip to Israel + convention attendance is also supporting the bad for shidduchim cause as a whole.

In all seriousness - Nefesh B'Nefesh, you'd be hard-pressed to find a better choice to send to the convention. Bad4 is an excellent writer/storyteller with great descriptive skill colored with a helping of fun, but not silly, humor. She has a large following of young couples and singles - just the sort of people who are not yet set in their ways, but who are at a stage in their lives where aliyah could be a serious consideration.

So...go ahead and send Bad4 to Israel!

Modern Day Miracles

This is a newish (though slightly belated) video by Nefesh b'Nefesh that I thought was cute, and, in light of all the intense news coming out of Israel lately, also somewhat refreshing.

Important Things

A few important things happened this week or are about to happen:

1. My first ever real best friend got married this past Thursday. I couldn't be at her wedding because it was in Israel and I couldn't exactly skip my first week of school (sadly). The weird thing is - even though we don't speak a lot because of time difference and just the different directions our lives have taken, there is still a really strong bond there. Her family made aliyah the summer after first grade - so we were both only six years old. But my earliest memories include her and her family. We've been best friends since we were a year old. That's something special. Not everyone is still in touch with their friends from that long ago. We see each other nearly every time either I go to Israel or she comes to America and our families just have a very special relationship that doesn't require constant contact in order to stay strong. In a weird way, it's almost like a long lost sister of mine has just gotten married. I know that's kind of hard to explain, but when I was looking at her wedding pictures, that's what it felt like.

2. I have three friends making aliyah on the Nefesh b'Nefesh flight tomorrow. Each of them is from a different part of my life, although they sort of overlap, too. One is a boy (I know, I know, co-ed friendship, co-ed summer camp, blah blah) I went to Moshava with for a number of summers. We're part of a very tight group of seven friends and...it's just really hard to explain us. It's sort of like a clique but in a very noncliquey way. It's like a kind of family, in a way. We've all gone our separate routes (although two of the people in this group are marrying each other later this year...), but we're all focused on ending up in Israel (actually, everyone except one other girl and myself have accomplished this already - or have definite plans to do so). I miss all of them a lot - many of them I haven't seen in ages because, well, they're in Israel. Sigh.

The second friend is a girl I went to Harova with and the third is a girl I became friends with in Stern (in Ivrit class, actually - at least one good thing came out of Ivrit at Stern!). So basically, someone from my teenage years, someone from my year in Israel, and someone from my college days (which are still going on) is making aliyah on the same flight tomorrow. So if I go to the airport to see them off, it will be something like facing various parts of my life all joining to take a powerful journey together. Except I will not be with them, which is sad for me. But mazal tov to them and much hatzlacha!

3. Mavis (my brother) started high school. This means my family is officially old - we're all high school and up!

4. Last Sunday, we saw Straight Man (my other brother) off to Israel for shana bet.

5. Trademark not only started her senior year of high school this week, but she is DRIVING.

6. A week and a half ago, I started my last year in Stern. Which is scary.

The Power Of Chocolate

This makes me jealous, but in a good way.

For me, I think the part of the BBT/SerandEz shabbaton that stood out the most was when Jameel was giving out cow chocolate.

I know that sounds rather odd. There I was on a Shabbaton all about inspiration and integration and I got the most affected by chocolate?!

I just remember standing there and Jameel holding out the chocolate bag. I held one of the little bars in my hand and when I took a bite, my mouth immediately filled with the sweetness of Israel. I'm not exaggerating. To fight it, I said rather dryly to the Apple (I think), "you know we can also get these in New York, right?"

But it wasn't about the chocolate, of course. It was about biting into something that came from Israel. It was about connecting with Israel in the smallest of ways. It was about holding something that was exposed to the Israeli air. It was about breathing in the fresh air of Israel as best I could through that tiny bar of chocolate.

It was about culminating a Shabbaton about integration and inspiration and, really, Jewish unity through growing closer to the Torah, with the ultimate uniting factor - coming together one day to keep the Torah as one, single nation in one land: the land of Israel. Our land.

Okay, so that uniting factor comes with a lot of controversy and debate. But it is controversy and debate over a single issue which drives so many Jews - how to handle the State of Israel? We are involved in a shared debate, even if people are on different sides.

When we pray, we all face the same place - Jerusalem. At the end of the day, throughout all our differences, it is Israel - it is Jerusalem - which brings us together. Have you ever been to the Kotel and not seen people from all different Jewish paths? My point exactly.

All this really hit home when I was eating that chocolate. It made me want to go to Israel so badly. I almost started to cry.

I can't even begin to express how much I miss being in that country. I know I'm not ready to make aliyah just yet, but every time someone else does, I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. They're doing it, I say. They're living my dream. I just want to know when it'll be my turn.

P.S. Also, I just love chocolate. If anyone wants to donate some chocolate to the author of this blog, it would be most appreciated (my favorite kind is the crackling-candy cow chocolate, just by the way)! Besides, you never know what eating chocolate might inspire next! :)

On Advice And Aliyah

There has been a lot of talk recently in the JBlogosphere on the topic of aliyah. Along with that talk, naturally, has come a lot of advice. Even off the JBlogosphere (actually, mostly off the JBlogosphere), I've heard a lot of advice from different people about how to go about making aliyah and, at a certain point, it can get very confusing. Everyone seems to be saying different things. And some of it isn't just advice. Sometimes, these are outright declarations (this happens often when you do Bnei Akiva, go to Moshava, go to Harova, etc). There are a lot of different people exclaiming different variations of, "the best time to make aliyah is ___ (fill in the blank)." Usually, because that's what worked for them. Makes sense, no?

Just the fact that, over the years, I've heard such different variations of "the best time to make aliyah" statement proves that there is no one best time. Every person is different. Every person has different struggles, different challenges, and different needs. Every person is looking for something different. Every person can cope with different things at different levels and at different times.

I've had friends who stayed in Israel after our shana b'aretz and made aliyah then. And they're doing great. I have friends who left college in the middle to make aliyah. They're also doing great. I have friends with plans to make aliyah right after they graduate college (real plans, not up-in-the-air plans). And I have friends who plan on making aliyah sometime in the (hopefully) near future but don't know when yet. I also know families from my community who we are very good friends with who are trying out aliyah right now. They have older kids but they're all into it and excited by it.

When I was little, my best friend moved to Israel with her family. We were both six and her older brother was seven. And they are in love with Israel. It worked out so wonderfully for them, and for all the families from my community who moved during those years (there are a whole bunch).

I've had (and have) friends in Bar Ilan, in other smaller colleges, in the army, doing Sheirut Le'umi...

I have friends who made aliyah and who have family living in Israel and I have friends who don't have as many friends and family in Israel, but things are still working out for them. And they're not just squeaking by. They are all ecstatic over having made aliyah and are waiting for me to join them.

My own grandfather made aliyah only a little over ten years ago (11 year ago this summer, I think).

Of course, it was challenging for all these people. Every single one of them had to go through times that were difficult - but that doesn't mean it was the "wrong" time for them to go. They worked through those times (or are still working through them) because their drive for living in the land of Israel, in our homeland, is strong enough to see them through. They embrace each challenge with the confidence, love, and dedication needed to succeed.

There is never going to be a time during our galus when it will be easy to make aliyah. It's always going to be hard. We just can't be afraid of it being hard. Yes, there are times that are better than other times, but that depends on each person. Any time to make aliyah is the "right" time as long as it is right for the person actually making aliyah.

I'm not trying to be overly idealistic, by the way. I am well aware that there are plenty of people who try to make aliyah and end up having to come back. But just because something didn't work out for one person at a particular time or in a particular situation doesn't mean it can't work out for a different person. The wrong time for one person is not necessarily the wrong time for you. And, on the flip side, the right time for one person is not necessarily the right time for you, either. Believe me, I've felt plenty of pressure to move to Israel once all my friends started doing it on their own (as in, not with their families). It was something I had to overcome (and sometimes I still struggle with it). It was the right time for them and they're doing well, but as for me - I needed to come back to New York for a few more years. And I'm glad I did. But they didn't have to (clearly) and they're glad they didn't.

I haven't made aliyah yet, but I know enough people who have to know this: although, in many respects, moving to Israel is a shared experience among all olim, there is also a huge element of aliyah that is personal, individual, and unique.

I think the best advice I've gotten so far about aliyah (it's actually a compilation of advice from a whole bunch of different people) is to make sure that you are ready. I know that sounds pretty obvious, but so many people get sucked into, "everyone is making aliyah now, I should, too" or "I was told this is the best time to make aliyah so that's when I'm going - I don't want to go at the wrong time!" etc. etc. etc.

I know, it isn't all idealism and sunshine and Kotel visits. You have to be ready in all different aspects - financially, mentally, emotionally, with a plan of some sort...but again, each of these things is so individual. No one can really say when the best time in any of these aspects is except you and what you feel comfortable with.

I hope we all make it there at the right time and with much success.

Am Yisrael b'Eretz Yisrael al pi Torat Yisrael.