One Of Those Days. Or Two.

The past few days have all qualified as "one of those days." Between having to take care of every aspect of my life (someone normal to date, for one thing, since I don't think I've ever had a good date and the last guy I went out with was a horror story. And a place to live this coming year. And a job so I can pay for the place I'm hopefully living in. Etc.) and having to take care of more immediate things (how am I getting to Lakewood for a good friend's wedding? How am I getting back? Where am I sleeping? Etc.), it was just about the last straw when I had to get fingerprinted for a small summer job I have in July and, after being told to wait half an hour yesterday because everyone was out to lunch, and then being told to come back today because only one person was working there, I was then told today that I have to wait about half an hour to an hour because, again, "I'm the only one working here." Geez. You DO know it takes about two minutes to fingerprint someone, right?

(Phew! Long run on. Everyone take a moment and catch your breath.)

Anyway, while I was waiting, an Indian man came in - also to be fingerprinted - and he was also told to wait. So we talked a little bit. He was very nice. I forgot his name though - something like...Isal? Something like that. Anyway, he asked me if I was interested in business and finance because that's where he works. I said no. He told me he's licensed in 42 states and he's getting fingerprinted to be licensed in another one. I told him that was cool.

Anyway, I'm sure you're all fascinated by our small conversation. Point is, after about 50 minutes of waiting, they finally fingerprinted me. They kept asking me if I wanted to go and come back later, but I decided the only way they'd actually do it is if I sat there waiting for them. So I did.

After getting fingerprinted (again, which took only two minutes), I went to the parking lot of the police station to get my car. I got in the car. Then I started to pull out of the spot.

Now, this has never happened to me before. Ever. So it's just my luck that it would happen, suddenly, in a police station parking lot with a bunch of actual policemen milling around talking. I backed up a bit too far into someone else's car.

I could see the expressions on the policemen's faces. They cringed, as if saying, "whoa boy."

"You want to take this?" one said to the other with a tiny smirk.

The other grinned and said, "sure."

I got out of my car and saw that there was no damage at all to the car I had backed into. Just to mine (my dad's, really). It wasn't even so terrible, but it would have to be fixed.

"Hang on a minute, we're just going to find out whose car this is," the policeman told me. I said okay.

Moments later, a tall, good-looking, intimidating, uniformed man came over to me.

"Hi. That's my car."

I swallowed.

"Oh."

Figures it would belong to a police officer. I must have looked terrified - gosh, I felt terrified - like I was going to be arrested or something. But somehow, I think the officer was even more nervous than I was.

"This your car?"

"N-no, it's my dad's... I'm really, really sorry!"

"Oh, don't worry about my car! My car's good - it's perfect! It's just your car...you're not going to file a report, are you?"

"I...don't think so?"

"Why don't you call your dad and find out. I can talk to him if you want."

"Okay."

So I called my dad, but his phone was off. I called my mom and she said to get the officer's information just in case.

"So, um, my mom said probably not but I have to check with my dad, so can I, um, have your phone number...?"

"Oh, sure!" He handed me his card and I dropped it onto the seat beside me. "I'm working here the next two days, too, so feel free to drop by if there are any problems."

"Okay...thank you."

He left. And then I left. (Very Carefully.)

When I turned out of the parking lot and stopped at a stop sign, I glanced over at the card he left.

It said Detective.

...No way. An actual detective?!

Great. So I backed into a detective's car. And he was worried about me?

Anyway...it's been a stressful two days (/summer, because of all the bigger stuff weighing on my mind). I think I need a hug.

Regrouping

You know when you feel like you've had a stressful week and then you realize it's only Tuesday?

I started this week off on the wrong foot. I was ill and up all night Saturday night/Sunday morning, grumpy and tired all day Sunday, had a stressful meeting with a professor on Monday, was up all night Monday working, and then tired, grumpy, and stressed out on Tuesday.

Today is Tuesday.

Today my thesis was due.

I did not hand it in today.

Sometimes, after a few days like that, you just need to crash. You need to not do any more schoolwork and just chill out for a little while. All day today I felt like I couldn't take a break because I had to finish my thesis by 4:40. At 4:40, I figured I still had until five (this was when my Senior Thesis class usually met). At 6:30, I felt like the whole thing was sort of a lost cause. And now, at 9:30, I decided I need to just forget about my thesis for the rest of the night. I need to ease my mind and go to bed early. I need to smile about things and feel good and not let anything get to me.

Sometimes you work really hard on something and, when you're done, you still know it's not your best work. It's despairing because after all that hard effort, something ought to be your best, oughtn't it? But yet you read it and feel that it's not very good, and then you feel bad about yourself because you put your all into it and yet, somehow, that wasn't really your all. Either that or your all isn't really very good.

But now is not the time to think of those things. Now is the time to chill out and thank God for giving you wonderful friends (both those who cheer you up and those who help you out), funny blogs, and mindless youtube videos.

Paper-induced insomnia

I can't sleep.

I've been lying awake in my bed for who knows how long trying to fall asleep but it's no use. I have too many papers looming over my head. I can't keep them all straight anymore. I keep forgetting what is due when. Too many things are happening all at once and I can't keep them straight! This is one of those times where I feel like I'm losing control over the outside world.

Okay, let's make a list:

1. Tomorrow, I'm going to finish/hand in my theatre critique and my nidda paper. I was really, really, really behind in my nidda paper until I got the smart idea to look up sources on the bar-ilan responsa project thing. Now I feel a bit more confident about finishing the paper on time. It actually really helped. I found nearly every single source I need aside from the sub-topic part.

2. I have to send in my third Dr. Peters reading response! I never did this! I also really want to revise whichever of the other two responses I'm not turning into my paper (since the paper one counts as a revision anyway). Which reminds me, I have to write my Peters paper.

3. I have to write my Development of the English Novel paper. I'm not sure when this is due. I don't think it's due yet, but I don't know! I have to check when I'm more awake. For some reason, this paper is really stressing me out. I think because I'm not as into it as my other English classes when I really know what I'm writing for all their papers, even though I haven't actually written them yet.

4. Kiddie Lit. paper, but that's really my last priority right now, seeing as it won't take me very long. It's only supposed to be four pages, anyway.

5. Email Beckman about the mock-up. Then, if I need to, do the mock-up. I'm also not stressed at all about this because doing mocks-ups is FUN.

Why does it feel like so much is going on? There are only five things on my list! Except that really a few of those numbers has more than one thing going on. And this is all separate from studying for my finals. Oh, FINALS.

GRRRRRRRRR.

I need to go adventurising and relieve myself of all this stress, but how can I go adventurising when I have SO MUCH TO DO????

Okay, after tomorrow I'll really be better. It's this nidda paper that's really stressing me out the most. I feel like I have the least handle on it. But once that's handed in, I'll be fine, I'll be happy, I'll be gleeful, and I'll be quite in the mood for ADVENTURISING. (okay, SJ?)

Drowning In Schoolwork

Do you ever get the feeling that you're simply drowning in schoolwork? That the more you do, suddenly the more you have to do?

Today was the school day from hell. I woke up at 9:30 with a huge final at 1:00 on the philosophy of the Rambam. I had studied so much last night but I still felt like I knew nothing so I crammed in some more studying in the few hours I had this morning. Then I took the test which was two hours of nonstop scrawling in one and a half blue books (well, actually, they were white). By the time I was done, I was so drained I wanted to just fall into bed and take a long, long nap. But I couldn't. No, I had to come back to my dorm, send in some IDs for my French Revolution final (since my class is compiling a collection of them to study from), do my Latin homework (which took ages - it always does, and this was after having done half of it already yesterday) and then, all of a sudden, at 10:00 at night, remembering that I have a paper due tomorrow! So I haven't done the paper, I'm too wiped. I have a final which I haven't studied for, either. I don't know what I'm going to do. The one thing I do know is that I ought to go to sleep right now. But I can't. If I do, I'll wake up at 8:00, have a test at 9:30 that I didn't study for...and what about my paper?

Erg.