Greater Than Me

There is an important piece of grammar that I think basically everyone I know gets wrong. English majors get it wrong, professors get it wrong, TV shows get it wrong, people on the news get it wrong - like I said, most people I know personally or see in the public eye get it wrong.

I admit - especially for an English major - I have a high tolerance for grammatical errors. I don't cringe every time someone messes up. I notice it, but I let it go. I'm chill.

This error gets to me every time, though. Not because it's an error, either, but because it's a conscious error. It's people deliberately making this mistake because they think it's correct. And that bothers me.

Do you remember, growing up, when you used to say things like, "Emily and me are going out to play?"

I'm sure some adult (parent? teacher?) would gently correct you with, "Emily and I."

So you learn, "Emily and I are going out to play."

Great!

And forever after, you are conscious of not making the same error twice. But that eventually translates into...

"Would you like to come play with Emily and I?"

This should be right, shouldn't it? After all, you remember going over and over, "Emily and I, Emily and I, get this right, it's Emily and I."

Wrong!

You see, when I was taking Latin, I learned about two grammatical cases that most people would probably translate as "subject" and "object." They were called "nominative" and "accusative" and they have different endings that I had to memorize, just like in English, really, but we don't think of it that way in English. Now, the nominative word or subject of the sentence is not what the sentence is about, but who or what is doing the action of the sentence. So in the sentence, "Emily and I are going out to play," Emily and I are doing the action. We are the subjects of the sentence. "I" is the nominative version of first person singular (I, me).

However, in the sentence, "Would you like to come play with Emily and me?" the person doing the action is "you." You are coming to play, even though it's a question. If you turn it into a statement, it would be, "You like to come play with Emily and me." Not "Emily and I," but "Emily and me." "Me" is the accusative version of first person singular. "Emily and me" are the objects because the action is being done to them, or with them, or for them, etc.

You might be thinking, "okay, but in normal speech, no one is thinking that carefully about how they structure their sentences." True - but, first of all, you should! The more you try to be grammatically correct, the more naturally it'll come to you, and then you won't have to think about it anymore. But I know, if you don't care, and if no one else seems to care (except crazy grammar freaks), then what's the big deal?

The big deal here is that people constantly make this mistake because they are trying to be grammatically correct and doing it wrong.

Here's an easy way to remember the correct word to use for "I" and "me." Change it to third person.

Naturally, you'd know to say, "She goes out to play" but "I go out to play with her." You wouldn't say, "I go out to play with she," would you?

She, he, I. Him, her, me. That's how it goes.

"Emily and me" can be correct and is correct when used properly.

Remember that!

Pockets

There is an integral part of clothing that guys seem to have in abundance but that is decidedly missing in many articles of clothing for girls. This is so completely unfair that I think it is time to take a stand. No longer should girls be forced to carry around bags or purses - we want pockets.

Yes. POCKETS. You know, those little sacks inside pants and very few skirts in which to store small items like, say, a cell phone?

The desire for pockets goes way back to the times of Peter Pan, who says:

"Oh what pleasure
She'll bring to us
Make us pockets and sing to us"

But should only boys have pockets? Girls are there to sew them for boys?

Nuh uh. No way. I don't think so.

Things have gotten so bad that the following conversation actually took place this afternoon:

SJ: Purses are so annoying.
Erachet: Yeah. I think we should all advocate for pockets!
Madd Hatter: [completely and utterly serious] Pockets? What are those?

[SJ and I give her a look of astonishment]

Madd Hatter: [slightly confused at the way we are looking at her] No, really! They sound like something I would like!

You heard that right, folks. Us girls are even forgetting what pockets even are! We've got to demand them before it's too late!

WE WANT POCKETS!

The Problem With Drawers

Drawers are like black holes. You put things in them and then never see those things again until a year or two later when you decide to clean out your drawers. You have a pile of various papers you want to save for various reasons and that you're hoping to see again or even - GASP - use (like stacks and stacks of plain lined paper or printer paper) but as soon as you put them away, zap! Just like that - they're gone! It is inevitable that drawers without actual appliances in them that are used on a regular basis (like cell phone or ipod chargers) will never, ever get opened unless you're cleaning them out. So unless you plan on cleaning out your drawers every day, say goodbye to anything you stick inside them because whatever it is and however important it may be, it'll slip right out of both sight and mind once you shut it inside that drawer.

The other problem with drawers are people who actually pronounce the silent '-er' at the end. Weirdos.

Pet Peeves about Stern

Ah, pet peeves time. I have oh so many. I'm sorry for using this as a venting table, but I just need to get these rantings off my chest.

Problematic things at Stern College for Knowledge:

1. Security guards who see students as guilty until proven innocent. I'm sorry, but it is inexcusable to shout at a girl running into the building late for class who SHOWS HER ID, "EXCUSE ME, MISS! ID! WHERE IS YOUR ID! I STILL DON'T SEE IT. COME BACK AND SHOW ME YOUR ID!"

Even for a girl who does not have her ID out, there is a polite way to say, "ID please?" and there is an obnoxious way to bark out, "UH, ID, MISS!"

And, I'm sorry, when someone's PARENT comes into the building, KAL VACHOMER YOU SHOULD NOT START GETTING OBNOXIOUS. WHAT KIND OF IMAGE ARE YOU SHOWING THE WORLD ABOUT THE WAY YESHIVA UNIVERSITY STAFF BEHAVES?

Besides the fact, going back to the students, it's just utterly ridiculous that student IDs are what the security guards are going bonkers about. Of course they need to see everyone's ID, but they don't have to lose their hats over it! YOU SEE ME EVERY. DAY. Stern is not THAT big that people are not recognizable. Honestly, most Stern girls I RECOGNIZE even if I don't KNOW them. Why? Because I SEE THEM AROUND. SECURITY GUARDS - YOU SEE ME EVERY SINGLE DAY MULTIPLE TIMES.

2. Librarians who make you feel like you're wasting their time just because you ask them to do their job.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HELP GIRLS OUT IN THE LIBRARY WHEN THEY NEED HELP, THEN DON'T BE A SCHOOL LIBRARIAN.

3. Le Bistro closing at three on Thursdays and the regular caf not opening until five. There should not be two hours where absolutely nothing is open food-wise, especially at that time in the day. ESPECIALLY because 3:00 is right when a class ends so someone who has a class in that time slot (which is a pretty popular slot, too) and hadn't had a chance to get lunch at 1:45 will be messed up food-wise. And if they are going somewhere on Thursday and leaving before the caf opens for dinner, they may not eat for a WHILE. I know seems like a trifle, but it's much more annoying and inconvenient than it sounds. I know this, because I can't even count how many times I hadn't had a chance to get real lunch in between my classes and had forgotten that Le Bistro closes at three on Thursdays and had been left with no lunch. That should never happen. Le Bistro should be open until five, when the other caf opens for dinner, or even until 3:30 or 4, just to give people who have class until 3 some time to get something to eat!

4. MEAN, OBNOXIOUS, ATROCIOUS COMPUTER LADY. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR BEING ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING TO GIRLS WHO HAVE HARMLESS, CLOSED WATER BOTTLES THEY ARE NOT EVEN DRINKING IN THE COMPUTER LAB. AND I'M SORRY, IF I PUT A WATER BOTTLE UNDER THE DESK AND IT IS CLOSED, IT WILL NOT SPILL ON THE COMPUTER. I PROMISE. YOU CANNOT ASK GIRLS TO JUST LEAVE THINGS LIKE WATER BOTTLES IN THE HALLWAY. THAT IS BASICALLY ASKING THEM TO THROW THEIR WATER BOTTLES (OR OTHER HARMLESS FOOD ITEMS) AWAY. THAT IS NOT FAIR.

5. This is not a complaint but more of a suggestion. Some classes have Angel accounts and the teacher emails the class when she will be absent and class is canceled. This is a very wonderful and beautiful thing and should be replicated by ALL teachers. It is a bit annoying to get up for class and go all the way to the school building to find out that your class is canceled. To those idealistic people out there, you might be thinking, "what's the big deal? It gets you out of your dorm! I don't think that's bad at all!" But think about all those times you went to sleep too late and then woke up with your eyes HURTING from lack of sleep and your body ACHING and all you want to do is go back to bed. Or how about if it's raining or freezing or snowing outside and you just don't want to leave your dorm if you don't have to? There should be a way for teachers to either email their class or post on the YU website if class is canceled. I know the option exists, but many teachers don't use Angel. I think it should be made mandatory. Or at least strongly suggested.

6. The Stern library needs a MUCH BETTER SELECTION OF BOOKS. ESPECIALLY FOR BOOKS THAT ARE BEING TAUGHT IN CLASSES THAT SEMESTER. THERE IS NO REASON WHY A GIRL SHOULD HAVE TO ORDER A BOOK FOR CLASS FROM UPTOWN.

Aaaaanyway, enough complaining! I feel so much better now! Thanks for listening/reading!