Stream of Consciousness

It's weird, this frustrated feeling, like you're inferior, like you're not good enough. Like everything you ever wanted to do - you can't. Everything you try, everything you enjoy, you try to do it, and it just never works out. But you want to so badly. You want to be good enough, you want to be more than just good enough. You want people to see, to see your spirit striving toward accomplishment. You want them to really see, to really believe in you. To grab you and help you reach your potential. But instead, you feel overlooked. Others take the limelight. Others attract more notice than you. And so you fall into the shadows. Forgotten. Unimportant. A polite comment, perhaps, when you're suddenly remembered. And you try so hard. And maybe, just maybe, you can do it. Maybe you can, after all. But no one will ever know, because no one gives you the chance. No one lets you take that first step toward the goal you've always wanted. They shut the door in your face. They turn to someone else. You aren't what they want. And you--you aren't assertive enough, aren't brave enough, to do anything about it. So you just sigh and move on. Try again, maybe. Another time, another place, only to be turned away once more. And will anyone ever notice? Will anyone ever give you that chance? Your pent up desires, they feel trapped, claustrophobic inside of you, unable to be let out. But what can you do? Nothing, that's what. Because there is nothing to do. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again, right? When you fall off the horse, get back on? Is that it? Is that what you have to do? But what if your horse won't let you back on? What if there are no more chances? What do you do if you have to live with the fact that you tried, you really did, but no one ever gave you that chance, that one chance, to prove yourself. To do what you really wanted. And so you never got to do it. Opportunities gone, in an instant, and you never got to do it.