Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Taboo

Dating.

There, I said it.

You see - there's this idea that you shouldn't write about dating because then you'll just be "another one of those shidduch blogs" or "another dating obsessed girl" or some other such thing. But the truth is, dating is a major part of the stage of life I'm in right now and it's just as silly to say "don't write about college" as it is to make the entire topic of dating - unless it's a joke of some sort - taboo.

I think I've had a somewhat strange dating experience, which some would say makes for good stories on future dates (although doesn't one not really talk about past dates while on a date with someone else?), but it's also rather frustrating in that I'm still waiting for a good date (or rather, series of dates) to come along.

What's difficult about dating is that you have to try extra hard not to look at what other people are doing. For instance, it doesn't matter if many of your close friends are dating and you're not, because you only need one, right? And you realize how different you are from your friends, how you find different things important in a person, and how that's actually a good thing. By figuring out what's important to you in a guy, it also helps you learn more about yourself. I've become extremely self-aware throughout this whole process (or "process").

I'm not going to go into all the issues about dating because they've been discussed a billion times already and don't need to be rehashed just to orchestrate a venting session in the comments. I think, though, that one of the hardest, most important things when it comes to dating is to be happy with yourself. Not to take things too personally, whether it's getting rejected, or that you hardly ever get set up, or any one of a million reasons why a person might feel dejected. Even if you're a really terrific girl. It's good, though very difficult, not to get caught in the trap of wondering if there is something wrong with you.

Even if some part of you is really pushing the idea that there is something wrong with you.

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