Tuesday, October 28, 2008

This Place

It is like G-d grabs hold of the big dipper and spoons out globs upon globs of vanilla frosting, spreading it ever so carefully, ever so evenly across the earth; those glistening, crystal lattices of snow frosting the world like a giant, icy dessert. They gleam invitingly. So clean. So white. So pure. So free of every bad thought, of every heavy emotion. They are the epitome of understanding and the cold, crisp, welcoming bed where dreams become more real than reality. Where there is no distinction between dream and reality. There is only you.

And the sky, the brilliant rainbow canopy that hangs over four corners of the world, your four-poster bed.

You, me, we, anybody. I dream of this place and I am there. The lights, the colors reaching out, lifting me up, helping me to see, bringing me clarity. It is there, here, there...I can see farther than I ever thought I could. I am myself. I am me.

Sometimes, it is dark. The lights, the wind, the world swirl and whirl and twirl in a big monster mess, whirl through my hair, twirl me around. Except that, with all that, there is peace, for I still stand on my cold, crisp, crystal lattice bed and look up at the heavens and know myself in the storm. It is not a storm of nightmares, it is a storm of truth, of essence, of me. It is my storm and I let go in it, I let it consume me until I send it off, like a giant kite, so that it flies away, and I stand there as it looks down on me, and it watches as I grow smaller and smaller and smaller in its eyes. Except I am not as small as that because I am suddenly in control. I have the power and I stand there, my hands on my hips, looking up, glaring at and studying the storm. I think, I wonder, I frown, and then I point to it and change the course of its swirling.

I am a conductor. I conduct the music of the light. I am in control.

Peace again.

Colors, lots of colors, they streak with delight across the sky and I revel in them, in the canopy above my snowy bed that I still stand on, looking up, and I grin because I know that in this place I am safe, in this place everything is clear, in this place I own the world. In this place the world is me and I am the world.

In this place I am above.

In this place I am the essence of me.

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