Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Princess Bride Chicken Jokes



I decided these are jokes I just have to share with all my readers. They are not mine. They come from this site and this one, so check them out on their actual sites if you want! Also, just a tip for making these extra funny - read them out loud in the voices from the movie. (and no, I did not proofread these or anything, I just copy and pasted, so any and all mistakes are theirs! Hee!)

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? - Princess Bride Style

Vizzini - He didn’t get run over? Inconceivable!
Inigo Montoya - Chicken, I do no’ mean to pry, but before you cross the road, you don’ by any chance happen to have six feathers on your right han’
Westley - This is a chicken crossing the road - do you think this happens every day?
Count Rugen - Chicken, how does crossing the road make you feel? And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest.
Prince Humperdink - Chicken tracks! I’d bet my life on it. The chicken is alive, or was an hour ago.
Yellin - Chicken? I see no chicken. (Fezzik, tear his arms off.) Oh, you mean THIS chicken.
Max and Valerie - Bye chicken! Have fun crossing the road! You think he’ll make it? It would take a miracle. B-bye!
King - The chicken’s going to cross the road? Won’t that be nice. Hee hee-she kissed me!
Albino - The road. Don’t even think about crossing. The cars are far too thick.
Fezzik - Don’t go chicken, I mean it. Will you stay and have a peaunut?
Buttercup - He will never cross again.

Some New Additions:
From Robert W: Vizzini: Do you know what that sound is, Highness? It is the sound of shrieking chickens. If you don't believe me, just wait, they always scream louder when they are about to cross the road. From ts9: Chicken to Fezzik: Are there cars ahead? Fezzik to Chicken: If there are then you'll be dead! Inigo: Let me 'splain...no there is too much. Let me sumup. There is a car coming in little less than half an hour. All we have to do is cross the road and get to the other side, after I kill count Rugen of course.

Westley: Death cannot prevent crossing the road, all it can do is delay it for a while. (~Andjam)

Westley: It keeps crossing the road! I do not think it should where it thinks it should.

Fezzik: My way's not very chicken-like.

Westley: You seem to be a chicken. I hate to eat you. Inigo: You seem to be a chicken. I hate to fry.

Westley: Hear this now: Chicken's will always cross roads.

Guess: Where are the chicken eggs? I have no chicken eggs. Fezzik, tear its wings off. Oh, you mean these chicken eggs.

Westley: There's a shortage of chicken breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to run over yours.

Man in black: Alright, where is the chicken? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide which side the chicken's really on and we both look... and find out if you're right, or if we feed you to the chicken. Vizzini: I am not a chicken farmer, so I can clearly not choose the other side. But it must have known I was not a chicken farmer, it would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the side in front of me.

Westley: I do not envy you of the headache you will have from eating it, but in the mean time, rest well, and dream of fried chicken.

Inigo: Why did the chicken cross the rooaaad? Fezzik: Perhaps the the other side... erode.

Inigo: What is that you're fluffing? Vizzini: It's a chicken-feather pillow slept on by an an army officer of Guilder.

Grandson: Can't you tell the chicken I'm sick? It'll bite my hand. I hate that.

Grandson: It's past that, Grandpa. It crossed it already.

Westley: Road-crossing chickens??? I don't think they exist. Chicken: BkAAGCK!!!

Vizzini: Ha ha! You fool! It wasn't a chicken. It was a penguin! I switched birds while your back was turned.

Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine it from its inner chicken. Now, a clever chicken would cross the road to get to the other side.

Vizzini: What happens to the chicken is not truly your concern!

Vizzini: It's obviously seen us with the chicken feed and must therefore die!

Fezzik: Road, road. I think it called to get it's car towed.

Inigo: Don't bother me with trifles. After 20 years at last the chicken's soul will be at peace.

Humperdinck: Clearly this was all planned by warriors of Guilder.

Count Rugen: Come chicken, we must get you to your coop.

Albino: It survived the road, it must be very brave. But no one crosses the machine.

Yellin: My chicken patrol has reported no such news.

Clergyman: That bwessed awangement. An egg within a jicken.

Buttercup: I've fried eggs more deeply than a chicken-killer like yourself could ever dream.

Buttercup: It'll never get to the other side. Westley: Nonsense, you're only saying that because not one ever has.

Max and Valerie: You promised me you'd never eat that bird. What chicken? Fish! Chicken? Fish! Chicken, chicken, chicken. Nobody's eating chicken! Chicken's crossing roads, and you don't have the decency to tell them why you eat fish.

Grandfather: The chicken is not run over by a car at this time.

Kid: Are you trying to trick me? Is this a chicken joke?

Kid: Hold it! It doesn't cross the road. After all Westley did for it, it wouldn't be fair. ...you're messing up the joke, now get it right!

Mother: Maybe it won't.
rainbowthin

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(...is this a kissing movie?)

1 comment:

Scraps said...

Heehee! Very cute. Love that movie. :)