Wednesday, December 12, 2007

No more Miss Nice Girl!

It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one's life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than 'try to be a little kinder.'
--Aldous Huxley

This idea dates back to my heroism post. I just feel like there's got to be a bigger purpose for me and for everyone else out there aside from "be nice and kind and good because you never know who you'll effect." That just doesn't work for me. I don't feel like I'm doing anything productive. I mean, it's good advice as a way to conduct yourself, but it doesn't work for me in terms of a purpose. Do you see what I mean? A few hundred years from now, I don't want to look back on my life and smile and say, "Gee, what a nice girl I was."

Nice. It's such a condescending word to use for someone, if you think about it. It means you don't know any better way of describing that person. It means you don't understand a person's subtleties and intricacies. It means you don't actually know the person. It is my belief that everyone is more than just nice or sweet or cute. And I guess I'm just struggling to find my place and purpose in this world where I'll be known as more than just nice and a good girl. And where I'll have actually done something of value.

For example, today in one of my classes, I decided to raise my hand instead of call out. I usually do call out, just like everyone else, but yes, I admit I have, on occasion, raised my hand (this is cue for you all to gasp). This has gotten me the reputation of good student.

I am sick and tired of being a good student! I want to be bad! I want to be rebellious! And no matter how bad of a student I am, no matter how many times I miss class or don't do the reading or am late handing in an assignment, I am always, always, always the good girl of the class!

That is IT. I have HAD IT. From here on in, I, bli neder, will NEVER raise my hand AGAIN in that class!


(Don't ask me how this was all connected. I'm going to pull a Virginia Woolf and just call it stream of consciousness. And I know it isn't really but this is me being a bad student and misusing a term. Hoorah!)

P.S. On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
--George Orwell (I knew I liked him!)


Scraps said...

You're hilarious. However, despite your worst intentions, I would like to see you try not to be good. I don't think you can do it! :)

SJ said...

Dearest, fear not. I who know you tolerably well can honestly say that you are not a very good student at all. You start your assignments an hour before they're due, for crying out loud. You are seriously irresponsible. Really, I'm not just flattering you, I mean it. I guess you just need to inform the teachers of the fact, that's all.

And your resolution never to raise your hand again in that class is a solid one--I'm generally a hand raiser too, but in that class even I abandoned it a while ago.

Princess said...

Believe me, being a "good student" is better than being the class bitch (something I'm quite familiar with).
And, on a side note, it bothers me that people think it's perfectly apropriate to call out in class. Seriously, when did chaos become the norm and order become a freak occurance?
Anyways, don't worry about being the good girl, it doesn't really matter in the greater scheme of things.

Moshe said...

I don't know you too well but based on what I've heard I am going to second what Scraps said.

Erachet said...

Scraps and Moshe - you are SO ON.