Friday, December 7, 2007

A blogger's monologue

To blog or not to blog

That is the question

Whether ‘tis nobler in the ‘sphere

To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous comments

Or to take arms against a sea of issues and by not blogging, face them!

To blog, to sleep no more, and by a sleep to say we end

The gchat and the thousand statii messages

That gmail’s heir to,

‘tis a deprivation

that’s never to be wished.

To blog, to read;

To read, perchance reply.

Ay, there’s the rub,

For in that lack of sleep

What posts may come

When we have shuffled off this writer’s block?

Must give us comments.


Moshe said...


Ezzie said...

Hehe. :) I like.

Willy Shakespeare said...

He blogs!
Oh, blog again, bright angel!

Scraps said...


You're hilarious. :)

SJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SJ said...


You may officially give yourself the Annoying English Major's Stamp of Approval.

Madd Hatter said...

excellent! very clever:) I happen to be reading Hamlet now in class. How wonderfully coincidental:)

G said...

Friday?! You throw down this gauntlet on a Friday!? A short Friday no less.
No matter:

Gessep: You want to blog?
Kaffechet I think I'm entitled to.
Gessep: You want to blog?
Kaffechet: I want comments!
Gessep: You can't handle the comments! Son, we live in a world that has posts. And those posts have to be guarded. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Goldish? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for commentless posts and you curse the Commenters. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that commentless posts, while tragic, probably saved blogs. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves blogs...You don't want the comments. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at shabbos tables, you want me on that blog. You need me on that blog.
We use words like wit, sarcasm, parody...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending comment deserving posts. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who posts, instead of sleeps, under the blanket of the very comments I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide them! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a keyboard and start to post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

--shakespeare was a clown >8)

the apple said...

Hmph. Blogger keeps eating my comments, so I'm not signing in.

Anyway, very clever! :) Can you please be in the studies in drama class with me next semester? Pleeeaaaase?

And G - nice, very nice. Props.

Northern Light said...

Very clever! Some of us blog on Fridays; others of us cook.

~ Sarah ~ said...

spot on!

Erachet said...

Moshe, Ezzie, Scraps, Northern Light, Sarah - thanks!

Willy Shakespeare - Wow, THE William Shakespeare is reading my blog! Shall I start writing my posts in iambic pentameter? Or will a simple rhyming couplet to finish them off do?

SJ - YES. More acronym clubs!

Madd Hatter - Yay! What great timing I have! Oh, the cleverness of me!

G - Oh, I throw down gauntlets any day of the week. And how clever of you! But I think I'd find it much cleverer if I actually knew what you were referencing. :D

Apple - Blogger is very mean sometimes :( And I want to take that class with all you fun honors people! I suspect it's going to be an awesome class because such awesome people are going to be taking it. Maybe it can fit into my schedule! I'm not sure, though.

corner point said...

You're hilarious! I had to read some parts twice for the full effect :-)

Princess said...

Awesome. There are no better words than that. Just awesome.

Bad4shidduchim(in exile) said...

Brilliant! Especially like Or to take arms against a sea of issues and by not blogging, face them!


Madd Hatter said...

g- did you seriously just intimate that shakespeare and a few good men are even on the same wavelength? i'm in shock.
and who is kaffechet?

G said...

Heaven forefend, of course they are not the same wavelength.

AFGM is much, much higher.

--combination of Kaffee & Erachet

Madd Hatter said...

"AFGM is much, much higher."

*strangled sound eminates from throat and gracefully crumples to the ground*

you've killed me.

Ahuva said...

That was just... perfect!

G said...

Take caution in your tone, Hatter. I'm a fair guy, but this #@*&%$ blogging's making me absolutely crazy. You want to know about Shakespeare? On the record I tell you that I encourage the study of his works in accordance with the DOE directive. Off the record I tell you that it's an unvaluable part of close intellectual training, and if it happens to go ignored without my knowledge, so be it. I run my comments how I run my comments. You want to challenge movie dialogue w/ me, roll the dice and take your chances. I read blogs and type comments 10 yards away from 3 supervisors who are trained to fire me. So don't for one second think you're gonna come down here, flash a few quotes from a play, and make me nervous.

Erachet said...

Now, now. There will be no extraneous uses of number signs, at signs, asterisks, and signs, percent signs, or dollar signs on my blog. Other than that, fire away!

Everyone else: take cover.

(P.S. G, don't make me send my Shakespeare bobble head doll after you - because I will.)

Ezzie said...

LOL all around :)

Liz said...

ROFL, that was magnificent. I was highly amused. Well done!

The Dreamer said...

i loved that!