Monday, December 10, 2007

Man as an island

Do you ever feel like you're an island? That you exist in a world entirely of your own and while other people flit around it, no one else truly enters inside? I feel that way sometimes. Sometimes it's like no one else truly understands me or has faith in who I am. Sometimes it's like no one else really cares, but only acts like they do because that's what people are supposed to act like. Sometimes it's like there are two worlds: the external world in which everyone exists and the internal world, the one inside your head, where the only inhabitant is you. And isn't it so frustrating when you know something about yourself that others misunderstand? And isn't it even more frustrating when others assume things about you that just aren't true? And the absolute worst - when someone you consider a good friend suddenly doesn't act like one (and no, I'm not talking about any of my blog readers that I know about, don't worry!). That's when you feel most like an island, because you invited that person into your world and then they betrayed that relationship and now you are alone again, back to your isolated self, because maybe that's what we all are, at the end of the day. Islands.

6 comments:

~ Sarah ~ said...

ditto.
it's tough.

G said...

Sounds like someone has been listening to one of my favorites

Madd Hatter said...

I hate to agree because it's so sad, but I identify with a lot of it. Still, there's something really special and wonderful about having that internal world all to yourself ready whenever you need a break from the other one:)

Scraps said...

Oh man, can I relate. It's miserable...and it makes it harder to trust the next time, which only makes things worse...

SJ said...

Oh ick. I'm sorry.

As we well know from all our lit classes, there's always that tension between self as one's focus and the realization that everyone else exists in exactly the same way--with themselves as focus. It's weird sometimes, and can definitely be frustrating--but it's sort of the human condition, y'know?

But I know what you mean, sometimes you feel that separation more. Those times when you're dealing with something and rack your brains for someone to talk to who will understand until you finally realize: no one's really going to understand in the way you want her to. And that's why it's good to have someone to talk to inside your head (or out loud to yourself, as the case may be). And also that's why it's good to have a blog, and that's why it's good to be a writer. Writing rocks, no?

haKiruv said...

And the absolute worst - when someone you consider a good friend suddenly doesn't act like one (and no, I'm not talking about any of my blog readers that I know about, don't worry!).

I completely agree. Also, when someone you think you know really well, goes and does something really stupid.