A Monty-Python title for a serious post, but a fitting quote nonetheless.
Today was the first day of Stern. Tomorrow I'll write a post about my first two days as a whole, but I just want to take a moment and think about the fact that I had two English classes today (well, two and a writing class where the teacher didn't show up) and Dr. Schwebel wasn't there. And I don't mean to sound so depressing but it was just, well, weird. I couldn't stop thinking about how she should be there and how it all felt so wrong, somehow.
This whole thing is weird. I feel almost as though I'm inventing part of my relationship with her. I'm a pretty cautious person when it comes to developing relationships with people and it sometimes sounds, from my writing, that we were a lot closer than we actually were. I think. But, like a wise friend reminded me today, it isn't like I should have done something I didn't. There was no way I could have been closer to Dr. Schwebel last year. Though I didn't visit her office outside of class time, though we didn't have lengthy conversations in the hallway, though, that one time I met her in Barnes and Noble by accident, I didn't know what to do or say and she ended up talking to me more than I spoke to her, I was slowly opening up. I needed more time. This year, I know I would have gone to visit her in her office. But now, of course, I can't. And I hear there's a new Latin professor. Someone asked me if I was taking Latin and I said I wasn't. I don't even know if there's a Latin II. It wasn't in the course catalog when we were all registering for classes last spring. But I can't imagine taking Latin with another teacher. There was just this bond Dr. Schwebel and I had, I guess being a one-on-one sort of class will do that to you, and it was almost like having a chavruta, honestly, only we were reading Latin, not Hebrew or Aramaic. But the way she would tell people who saw us together that I was her Latin student, and in this proud sort of tone, just...wow. I miss being her Latin student more than anything else.
And the reason the title of this post is so fitting is because Dr. Schwebel and I shared a Monty Python appreciation moment during class one day, not long after I posted this.
And now I really need to go to bed because I'm rambling and making myself cry from my ramblings and it's two friggin thirty in the morning.