Twenty-One

I am twenty-one. 52 minutes ago, I became completely legal (well, except for renting a car, which apparently you have to be 25 for). I'm not quite sure I feel any different, but I think I DO feel a bit older, even though that's probably all psychological, because why should right now be any different from an hour ago?

I will have a rather interesting birthday, as it falls out the day after Tzom Gedaliah, three days after Rosh Hashana, and the same day as the Stern memorial for Dr. Schwebel. So my birthday will not be all frivolity, but then again, perhaps that's for the best? In an odd way, I do appreciate having the Dr. Schwebel memorial on my birthday, because I cannot think of a more meaningful way to spend the day, honestly, and, in some way, it'll be like she's there on my birthday, too.

I am very nervous for the memorial tomorrow night. I don't know what to expect, even though I know what's going to be happening at it. I don't know how people will react to others talking about Dr. Schwebel. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know how I'll feel. I guess I'll find out then, won't I?