Friday, January 4, 2008

Poemization - Part II

So last semester, I wrote a poem in honor of finals. I figured I'd do the same now. Here are the rules for something to qualify as a Finals Poem:

1. Cannot be planned out in advance
2. Must be written on the spot
3. Preferably slightly incoherent or nonsensical or both
4. Must convey the impression that it was written during a time of heavy stress
5. Must be written at some time in the early morning (between 12:00am and 6:00am)
6. Must still follow all the rules of poetry in terms of rhyme, meter, etc.

Procrastination or That Paper the Sneak

When finals fin'lly come around
It's hard to keep your feet aground
For when the wind blows in in gusts
With final tests and papers dusts
And sweeps you up off of your feet
It's then you know you'll come to meet
An island where it's all okay --
Procrastination's saved the day!
He'll give you lots of tasks to do
Most of them fun and needful, too
Though not exactly at that time
But it's okay, (this line must rhyme)
Because when those small tasks are through
He'll give you more - oh lucky you!
And all so that you won't do work
But you don't mind, so there you'll lurk
And spend your days through reading week
On a procrastination streak.
You'll do no work, but you won't care
The days are young! And oh, fresh air!
Adventurising through the night!
Though something comes to give a fright!
What is it? You look round and round
And, suddenly, without a sound,
A PAPER comes in leap and bound!
"You have not written me at all!
Your grades will drop! GPA fall!"
"I meant it not!" you say in fear
"But finals time was drawing near,
And I'm afraid my feet got swept
Along by one oh so adept
At big distractions through small things."
Is the excuse your voice box sings.
And so you scramble to complete
Before the due date's obsolete
With snacks and stressing, snacking, too
A nervous breakdown might come through
But those right now are normal things
And that is what exam time brings.


Scraps said...

LOL! You are quite hilarious when you're poemizing.

If anyone says you're not a writer, you show them this! You could give good ol' Shel Silverstein a run for his money. ;)

Good luck with that paper!

SJ said...

Hoorah! Awesome poem! I haven't written a new one this year, but I wrote one last year...without even knowing that it was an established custom. I know you've seen it already, but it still applies, so 'til I come out with this year's version...

G said...


-curious, why is procrastination a guy? I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'...

Erachet said...

Scraps - Thanks! I've actually gotten compared to Shel Silverstein before. Maybe I should write a poetry anthology! :D

SJ - Yay!!! I eagerly await your contribution to this year's Finals Poemization Collection (otherwise known as the FPC).

G - Because procrastination is evil and guys are evil, therefore...if a=b and c=b, it goes to reason that a=c.

the apple said...

Because procrastination is evil and guys are evil

OMG. I hereby invite you to join BLAH.

Bas~Melech said...

hehe. I used to do this all the time in HS... dunno what's happened, maybe I'm drying up in my old age...

I'll try a haiku:
ick ick ick ick ick
Finals are really icky
Ugh I hate finals

There we go, 5-7-5, ready for press :-P

Ezzie said...

I just wanted to note that this poem was amazing. :)

I always loved finals. All the pressure, the last-second making up for many months of procrastination, the late nights... awesome. I almost miss it! (Almost.)

Scraps said...

You should write an anthology! Let's see, if you come up with a new poem every time you take finals, you should be finished sometime around fifty years from now. Hmmm...I wonder if the anthology will sell so well that it'll pay off fifty years of college tuition? :-P

Madd Hatter said...

Wow. I love it! I wish I could write like that:)