Forgive Me, Humanity

Imagine what it would be like if you climbed to the top of Mt. Everest, looked out onto the expanse of the entire world, and shouted, "Forgive me, everyone!"

We're in the aseres yemei teshuva right now: a period when we're supposed to be thinking seriously about ourselves, our attitudes, our behavior, and our actions. We have ten entire days devoted to doing teshuva. In addition to doing teshuva before G-d, we're supposed to realize the wrongs we have done to other people and ask them for forgiveness. Really ask them, I mean. I am just wondering...do mass text messages really count? What about facebook statuses? Gchat?

There is a fear in actually asking someone for forgiveness. Doing so means facing the fact that you did something wrong. It means admitting to another person that you have wronged him/her. But what is teshuva? Is it not turning towards something wrong you did head-on, grabbing it by the ears, and cleansing yourself of it? Is it not looking at yourself and really seeing who you are? What you've done? What you haven't done? What you should have or should not have done? Admitting, "Yes, these great characteristics are me, but I have also done this wrong behavior?" It takes a certain amount of lowering of one's pride to do that. It takes strength to apologize. It takes even more strength to apologize with conviction, and to really try to improve your behavior, your attitude, or whatever it is that needs improving. And then, by the way, you can build up your pride again, for you can feel proud that you had such strength and acted on it.

It takes no thought at all to make your facebook status, "I'm mochel everyone, I hope you're mochel me!"

True - we may have hurt someone without even realizing it. But sending out a mass text message or a status on facebook is not asking for forgiveness. The sentiment is nice - and, honestly, it really is commendable to want to be able to ask everyone for forgiveness. I just don't think doing so in the form of a mass text really counts.

Of course, someone could say - how can I go over to all my friends and ask for forgiveness? That would take forever!

I don't know. I don't know what's correct or incorrect in such circumstances. I would try, for myself, to ask people who I think it is most likely I may have hurt or wronged in any way. Or who I know I for sure did. I doubt I've done anything specifically wrong to someone I haven't spoken to in a number of years, for instance.

Sending out mass texts is like walking around with a t-shirt that says, "Mochel me - I'm Jewish." Mochel you? For what? For being Jewish? For being on my friends list on facebook?

I'm sorry if this post sounds a bit harsh. I just think we all ought to consider how impersonal status updates and mass text messages are. I hope that for every mass text, there are at least a few personal forgivenesses being asked for, as well.

Besides, on the flip side, don't put yourself down so much. You probably don't need to ask all of humanity for mechila. :)

On the topic of teshuva (and to lighten the tone of this post), I read a nice, short article by R' Twersky called, "Teshuva: In Your Mouth And In Your Heart." It's a couple of years old, so it's possible a bunch of you have already read it, but it discusses how teshuva is not something completely out of our reach: that even if you think you've been immersed in sin for so long, your teshuva can still be accepted and that is not a reason not to try and do teshuva.

I believe this can extend to anything you wish to do in life. It is never too late to learn something new, to try something new...you're never too old to start something. My music professor at Stern had only just started learning to play an instrument, even though he had gone so long without knowing how (it was not a class in playing an instrument, clearly). So many great, classic writers did not start writing their magnum opus novels until they were well past middle age.

If there's something you wish to do - go for it. Who cares if you're not ten years old anymore? Or twenty? You don't have to have been a child prodigy in something in order to accomplish - or to simply enjoy yourself. And it's never too late to learn something new about yourself, too - like discovering a new talent. You'll never know if you don't try - and you only live once, you know!

I find that while I'm looking at myself and who I have been until now, I like to also look at who I can be in the future. But, of course, that is something that must be discovered, and it can only be discovered by taking chances, trying to new things, thinking about new ideas, etc.

I hope you all had an amazing chag the past two days and that you had/are still having an easy fast today!

Welcome To The Kitchen

"Has anyone been listening to me?" asks Ima, the menu for all our Rosh Hashana meals on a pad of paper in front of her at the table.

"Yes, yes," says Straight Man.

"Alright," Ima smirks. "What are we having tomorrow night for dinner?"

"Umm...challah, apples, honey..."

"New fruit!" Mavis exclaims. "What are we having for our new fruit?"

"I dunno..." Ima says teasingly.

"You know...what is it?"

"It's a surprise."

Mavis flings open the fridge and pulls out something long and green.

"It's this!"

"Mavis!" cries Ima. "That's a cucumber."

.................................................

Shana tova, everyone! May you all have a meaningful yom tov with inspiring tefilla and tables surrounded by warmth, camaraderie, fun, family, and friends. May you all be written in the book of life and may your tefillos be answered.

To The Readers Of My Blog

To my millions of readers (okay, okay, so there are only a small handful of you. Shhh),

With Rosh Hashana nearly upon us, I'd just like to apologize for anything I might have posted or commented or otherwise expressed to anyone that was in any way offensive, upsetting, or unfair. It is especially common on the internet for people to be misunderstood because, as useful and amazing as this medium is for communication, it is lacking some crucial things like tone of voice, facial expression, and the like. Therefore, I know that I have misunderstood some of you, and I have also felt misunderstood at times, and I would like to put those misunderstandings behind us. I also hope that we can all, myself included, try harder in the future to look at things from another person's point of view instead of being so quick to contradict.

I would also like to wish all of you a kesiva v'chasima tova and a shana tova and just a really meaningful, but also fun, yom tov filled with raisin challah, honey, and weird fruit. May this coming year bring with it only good things for you all and for Klal Yisrael as a whole, and, also, I hope I continue in friendship with those I have become close with over this past year.

Shana tova!

Sincerely,

Erachet

I Forgive Me

Although, truthfully, I haven't heard it at all this year (yet), generally when it gets close to Rosh Hashana, hallways, sidewalks, gchats, facebook messages, cell phones all ring with the token phrase: "are you mochel me?"

There are so many times throughout the year that we wrong each other, both intentionally and unintentionally. It's actually quite comforting to know there's a designated time each year for both forgiving and for getting forgiven. Getting forgiven, not just by God, but by our friends and family, as well.

But there's another important person to remember to forgive. Yourself. How many times do we think lowly of ourselves or don't give ourselves enough credit? How many times do we do something to our own detriment? How many times do we pass up opportunities or fail to rise to our potential? How many times do we not trust ourselves? And how many times do we feel frustrated about all of these things, which only makes us feel even worse?

Yet how many times do we actually give ourselves a break? How many times do we accept our faults and struggles and difficulties from the year not as things which make us bad but just as things we, as good people, have to work through? How many times do we actually forgive ourselves?

I think it's about time we did.