Focusing On The Good

Sometimes it seems like so many horrible things are happening around you and all you can think about is how disturbing and upsetting they are. As someone said to me recently, "bad things seem to come in bunches." It makes the world seem like such a dark place, even though you know it's really not. And you sort of realize that you can't always help make things better or happier, that sometimes things are just bad and there's nothing you can do about it. But that feeling alone is such a bad feeling, too.

It's just very difficult to see family and friends go through tough things and feel like you can't make anything any better because, well, how could you?

During the height of the intifada in Israel, I was in high school. I worked on various school publications and we were always writing about horrible things going on in Israel. It got to the point where another girl and I decided we wanted to start a newsletter devoted only to good news. We never actually did, but I think the idea behind it says something about...something.

Sometimes terrible things happen, but that doesn't mean an end to all good things. It doesn't even mean that good things aren't happening at the same time as the bad. I suppose it's all about what you allow yourself to see. And it's okay to feel happy even if other people are feeling sad.

Surrounded by bad news lately, I wish I had some good news to share. Does anyone else? I have heard some good news lately from various people, actually (interestingly, it's the same piece of news from completely unrelated people), but the more the merrier, you know. The good news I can think of to share is also kinda scary, but...my college graduation is three weeks from Thursday (yikes).

This is a good thing because this week in school I suddenly came down with some Senioritis. And it's exciting to graduate from college. But it's a little frightening because I have no idea what I'm doing once I graduate or where I'm living. So...it's a bit intimidating to leave a comfortable world and step into the unknown. But I am told it is also exciting, so we shall see. :)

In any case, I suppose it's normal to feel completely powerless when it comes to helping other people. You try your best, but sometimes you wish you could give more than is in your power because you feel they might require more. It's uncomfortable to feel like you can do all you can and it still might not really help.

This post could go on forever in circles on the same topic. I think this Calvin and Hobbes pretty much sums it up. I love Calvin and Hobbes. In fact, I'm going to share a fun site with you of Calvin and Hobbes by subject.


I hope you all have a great day and think happy thoughts. The world is a good place, even when terrible things happen - and even when terrible things happen in quick succession.

You know, I think the world would be a fascinating place if there were special effects and dance numbers, don't you? A little too scary to imagine, huh? :)

Snow Day?

Dear Stern College for Women,

I would like to bring to your attention the icy white fluffy things falling from the sky outside. If you look out your window, you will see what I mean. Lots of it has also piled up on the ground. This icy white fluffy stuff is called snow. For your convenience, I have provided in this letter the dictionary.com definition:

snow

–noun

1.	Meteorology. a precipitation in the form of ice crystals, mainly of intricately branched, hexagonal form and often agglomerated into snowflakes, formed directly from the freezing of the water vapor in the air. Compare ice crystals, snow grains, snow pellets.

2.	these flakes as forming a layer on the ground or other surface.

3.	the fall of these flakes or a storm during which these flakes fall.

It is general practice, when such white fluffiness descends from the heavens, to cancel school so we may enjoy these crystal-lattice precipitations, and so you may, too. This is especially the case when the rest of New York State is on holiday. There are certain customs one must perform when this amount of snow has fallen, including the crafting of snow men, the building of snow forts, and the throwing of snow balls - usually culminating in a snow fight. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt that you were unaware of such procedures and I have seen it as my duty to inform you of them. I hope we have no such trouble in the future - the future being this moment and onward. So I trust we won't have school the rest of the day?

Sincerely,
A Snow Day Deprived Student

"The Shidduch Crisis"

Lots of people are posting about the infamous shidduch crisis. Is "shidduch crisis" even the right thing to call it? Perhaps some of it is self-imposed? Have we given ourselves a complex?

So many theories, so much advice...

Take what you will from this comic:


On a similar note, where are all the NORMAL guys, huh?

The Question

(Hat tip: Ezzie)

Well...what do YOU want to do with the rest of YOUR life?

Personally, the lighthouse idea sounds kinda cool... :)

Ponderings On A Rainy Day

I sit here by the window and watch the rain drip and slip and slide down the pain, so slick it is as it hits the world below. It's like the world is crying...or is it laughing?

There is nothing I can say, so I'm offering this instead. Often there is more good than just what is obvious. You may hate the rain, but the rain makes the world grow.

Don't gripe. It only fuels a fire too hot to gather round and roast s'mores.

You can cry, but then don't forget that tears come from laughter, too. There's so much bad stuff that happens, why not appreciate all that is good? When you cry, the world cries with you. When you laugh, we can take off our hoods and jump in the puddles.

Life is too serious to be taken too seriously.

Seriously.

Won't anyone jump in the puddles with me?

The Book Of Over-Think

Warning: This post is an inherent contradiction.


Calvin's brought the whole "caring too much about things" thing to an opposite extreme. See, it's not good to over-think a situation, but it's not good not to think at all.

The statement above might sound random to you. That's because I spent way too much time thinking about this post (it's been sitting in the drafts for about a week) and, seeing that there was no way to begin at any sort of beginning, I began in the middle. It's an age-old concept dating back to Homer (or is it Horace? Does it matter?) called in medias res, but if you walk around saying that, people might think you're an intellectual. Now, there's nothing wrong with being an intellectual, per se, but it all depends on how you'd like to come across, and I find that if one is too intellectual and goes around talking about people like Homer and Horace and not getting them all muddled up (not like anyone else'd know the difference) and speaking in Latin - asum thusum - what was I saying, again?

Oh yes. Caring too much. Over-thinking. Theorizing. Thesee-izing (that's coming up with a thesis plus a few to make it plural - or thesi - or thesii - or any neologism thou wishest).

I said something in my Literature and Philosophy class (yes, that is the name of one class, not two, despite the many confusions people have had when I've mentioned it before) which was considered "brilliant" or a "breakthrough" or, if you like, "seeing things our way now." It was this: "When the prejudices of the 'I' get in the way, you're not giving something itself proper attention, you're just giving attention to what you project onto the thing."

The reaction when these words slipped accidentally out of my mouth (although I had written them down on the side of an article beforehand) was that of a cult opening its arms wide and embracing me with an emphatic, "come join our side, soul-that-is-no-longer-wayward!"

And yet, despite my reluctance to join the dark side, I see that it is perhaps not as dark as I would have liked it to be. Because if it truly was that dark, then I'd stand with my hands on my hips in triumph, brandishing my brilliant arguments with pride and always coming out one step above (like on a staircase, which is certainly more prestigious an accomplishment than being one step ahead on a path, which takes much less energy and skill, unless 'twas a rocky path, in which case I shall consent to being one step ahead, although preferrably also above, on a rock, because the higher you are, the more you can see, and the more strategic your position, you know). But since it is not dark at all, but actually quite sensical, I find myself painfully admitting that perhaps I was ***** (for those not used to this game yet, I mean "wrong" but since I'd not like to say it, I won't). According to a philosopher we read in class, and according to the person who wrote about her, "'Something in our soul has a far more violent repugnance for true attention than the flesh has for bodily fatigue.' The repugnance Weil [pronounced 'vay,' not 'whale,' just so you won't sound as stupid saying her name out loud for the first time as I did] has in mind here is the ego's reluctance to engage in scrupulous self-criticism, since such criticism has a tendency to humiliate, to shatter the ego's pride and vanity." So, you know, we don't like to self-criticize because it makes us feel like we're being criticized (gee) and this hurts our ego. Blah blah.

Somehow I'd like to segue into this point:

That one should not approach a situation with a thesis. One should evaluate each situation as its own entity and not try to "figure things out" or "discover anything." People should not be treated as a mystery to be solved, nor should their actions be, nor should any situation one stumbles upon. As a wise person I sometimes come across says, "it is what it is 'cause it is," yeah?

Douglas Adams, in his book Mostly Harmless says, "Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though."

Now, that is odd, because how can all that not happen in chronological order? But perhaps this is not worth philosophizing over because that is not the point at all. The point is that anything that happens, happens, and it happens without being thesis-ized over.

And now, to throw on the cloak of an intellectual, I will say that there is something I cannot understand about Wiggenstien's The Blue Book. He says, "What is the meaning of a word?" Then he explains that to give a word definitions is not necessarily saying what the word means. His example is with a pencil. About a pencil one may say, "this is a pencil" or "this is round" or "this is wood" or "this is one" or "this is hard" and so on and so forth. These are all ways one might define or describe a pencil, but to know what a pencil is is to be able to differentiate it from, for instance, a pen. And to know what to do with it. Etc, etc, etc.

Yet aren't these all intuitive? Don't we understand this concept without having to put it into words and analyze it? What is the real point in this essay? To tell us what we already know?

But yes! Wiggenstien admits in his Philosophical Investigations, "the problems are solved, not by giving new information, but by arranging what we have always known."

My teacher, to quote: Philosophy is not in the business of discovering something new about the world.

HA!

But then why? Why learn philosophy? How is philosophy not synonymous with "over-thinking?"

This conversation with a friend, according to that friend, "was such a Calvin&Hobbes strip," and so we come full circle:

"Calvin": sometimes I wonder if people spend a lot of their lives wasting time mulling over things that are obvious
"Hobbes": you mean like that? :)
"Calvin": oh shut up

Toast

For everyone I'm friends with - but especially my apartment mates.

On Making Messes (And Cleaning Them Up)

See? Making a mess is an important learning experience!

Good Shabbos, everyone!

In Your Own Words

I love school. :)

(Feel free to comment in your own words)

"Welcome to America, Now Speak English" - a t-shirt

I would like to discuss this comic:



There's always this debate, since America is like a large chulent country - a bit of this, a bit of that, toss some of the other thing in there, stir it up and see what we've got. So is this an English language nation? Or is it something else? What does it mean to be American? America now is definitely not the America it started off as, but where are we migrating to? We started off speaking English because so many of the early settlers were British. But what about all the other states that started off Spanish? Wouldn't that make Spanish just as legitimate for a national language? Or a co-national language? But you could say, those states that used to be Spanish weren't part of the original thirteen states of America. America was founded by Englishmen (primarily) and then those Englishmen - now Americans - took over further lands, thereby conquering places belonging to the Spanish. And when you are conquered, you do not impose your own rules on the conquerers. No, you adapt to the way of life that you've just been introduced to. In that sense, America should speak strictly English.

But America is also founded on the ideal that we are the land of the free, we provide equal opportunity. It shouldn't be difficult for immigrants in this country. In theory, anyway. In theory, America should open its arms to immigrants speaking all languages, not forcing them to conform to American ways, not forcing them to learn English, for we are a country where all cultures should thrive.

And on the flip side again, I'm American. I'm fluent in English because English is the dominant language in this country. So why is it fair that I shouldn't be able to understand other Americans - in America! Why should I have to learn their language so I can understand them, instead of them learning my language, the language all Americans should know. Right? After all, in France they speak French, in Spain they speak Spanish, in Italy they speak Italian, in England they speak English, so why can't the same expectation be held for America?

And speaking of England and America, if you really think about it, we don't actually speak English. We speak American. I mean, if you listen to a British person speak, there will definitely be words and phrases you just don't understand. Sure, it's similar, sure it's basically the same, but it isn't really the same.

I have no idea what I believe when it comes to this debate. I'm easily convinced either way. Any input?

Hurry! Say Something Funny!

Gah, many posts today. Well, only three. That's alright then.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

This particular comic strip really sums up what I feel like sometimes. It's sort of like when you're at a social event, or just a bus ride with people you know you ought to make friends with, and you really want to make friends with them, but you just can't think of anything of interest to say. That's happened to me on many occasions, though I'm thinking of one in particular. But even, say, a good friend of yours has a good friend and you all hang out together in a group, but suddenly your mutual friend leaves the room and it's just you and your friend's friend, and all of a sudden, it goes quiet, neither of you saying anything, both fidgeting with your phones or the string at the end of your sleeve that's coming unraveled, thinking you really should cut it off eventually. And in that short span of time, you fail to make an impression. You fail to engage your friend's friend, or the people on the bus who you want to be friends with, or those at the social event, in a conversation that will secure your friendship, or at least make yourself seem at all interesting and fun to be around. Isn't that just the worst feeling?