Values

As I get older and interact with more people, I notice how different people have different values. Some people are very hospitable. Some have excellent table manners. Some are extremely generous. Some know how to speak to others kindly, even when being firm or opinionated.

Noticing others' values makes me quite aware of my own. I was taught that you always put others before yourself (when appropriate). I was taught that you always offer food and drink to a guest, especially if you're going to have some, and that you don't take something for yourself that you can't share with your guest. I was taught that you always speak to others respectfully, no matter how much you disagree with them. I was taught to sit straight at the table. I was taught to be honest. I was taught to use my brain. I was taught to respect my parents, and also my teachers. I was taught to be positive, to always see the glass half full.

Happy belated birthday* to my dad, who taught me these and other important values, life lessons, and other such things** when I was young. They are ingrained in me forever (even if I'm still working on some of them). I love you!

*It was actually on Sunday, March 14th
**Such as which bridges go where and how to spell the names of neighboring towns

The Ultimate Relationship

There is a specific pasuk in Ashrei that I have always liked: Karov Hashem l'chol kor'av, l'chol asher yikreuhu b'emet. God is close to those who call Him, to all who call Him...in truth? Sincerely? Translations are always messy. But I always felt that this pasuk was saying, if you strive to be close to God, then God will be close to you. But how can you strive to be close to God?

Tonight I went with my mom and my sister to a shiur in the Great Synagogue that, happily for me, addressed this question. The shiur was given by a Rabbi Gottlieb who once attended Shaalavim and is now on sabbatical in Israel with his family. He first spoke about Sukkos and the discussion in the Gemara about what the sukkos were that B'nei Yisrael sat in in the midbar. Rabbi Eliezer said the sukkos were really the Ananei Hakavod while Rabbi Akiva said they were actual, regular sukkos. But why, asked Rabbi Gottlieb, would we have a chag to celebrate living in regular, ordinary sukkos? How can we understand Rabbi Akiva's opinion in the context of having a chag?

Rabbi Gottlieb then focused on the Shemonah Esrei that we say every day. At the end of Shemonah Esrei, we say the paragraph of Elokai Nitzor. In that paragraph, there is a pasuk (also one I have always liked) that goes, "Petach libi b'toratecha, u'vimitzvotecha tirdof nafshi." Rabbi Gottlieb pointed out that this pasuk is originally written somewhere - I think in the Gemara but I don't remember exactly - as "acharei mitzvotecha tirdof nafshi." That would be translated as, "after Your mitzvos my soul should pursue." As in, we should chase after Hashem's mitzvos. However, in Shemonah Esrei, we don't say "acharei mitzvotecha, " we say "u'vimitzvotecha." With Your mitzvos my soul shall pursue. But pursue what? Rabbi Gottlieb suggested then that what we are pursuing is God.

In the first translation, our pursuit is after mitzvos. Mitzvos, then, are the object, the goal. But the way we say it when we daven, we turn mitzvos into the method. We use mitzvos in order to chase. They become the means to pursue something higher, something greater - God.

Rabbi Gottlieb quoted from a hesped of Rav Soloveitchik where he talks about what his mother taught him (emphasis mine):

"Most of all I learned from [my mother] that Judaism expresses itself not only in formal compliance with the law but also in a living experience. She taught me that there is a flavor, a scent and warmth to the mitzvot. I learned from her the most important thing in life - to feel the presence of the Almighty and the gentle pressure of His hand resting upon my frail shoulders." - A Tribute to the Rebbitzen of Talne

Torah, Halacha, Mitzvos - they are all important. But partnered with them needs to be a quest to become close to God. One should not go around performing mitzvos in order to have a collection of them, but one should do mitzvos because through Torah and mitzvos one can enrich his relationship with God.

This, said Rabbi Gottlieb, is how one can understand Rabbi Akiva's opinion. The sukkos can be regular, ordinary sukkos and still be worthy of having a chag about them. Grand miracles are great - we celebrate them on Pesach. But Sukkos is the holiday of our every day relationship with God. It is not about extraordinary gifts. It's about the ordinary gifts we receive from God every day. It's about our simple closeness to God.

I remember learning when I was younger that we have Shemini Atzeres because God wanted us to stay a day longer with Him on this chag. This idea fits in beautifully with everything I just wrote about. If we work on becoming close to God, if we use Torah and mitzvos in order to enhance our relationship with God, then God will also be close to us, we will merit to feel "the gentle pressure of His hand" resting upon our shoulders, and God will want us to stay with Him.

We can't forget that everything we do in Judaism is for this ultimate goal - becoming closer to God. If we keep this in mind, hopefully all the other nonsense everyone worries about (you know what I mean) will dissipate. Don't you see how that stuff doesn't matter? We're not in this religion to impress anyone or to be holier-than-thou. We're not in it to collect chumras or to show off our mitzvos - as wonderful as they are - to anyone else. We're in it because we are God's people and, as God's chosen nation, the one relationship we ought to worry about most is our relationship with God. Every time we make a choice, we should remember that we are part of God's nation. How should one with a relationship with God behave?

And another thing. The simple nature of our relationship with God that we celebrate on Sukkos is such a beautiful thing to celebrate. It is on this chag specifically that we have an added day, a Shemini Atzeres, because God did not want us to leave Him. Not on Pesach when we celebrate the great miracles God performed for us. Not on Shavuos when we celebrate receiving the Torah. No. Only on Sukkos, when we celebrate our simple, every day relationship with God. The simplicity, the ordinariness is what enriches the relationship. Not the majestic nissim and niflaos. To me, this is a model of all relationships we have. Family, friends - the best moments are the most simple ones, aren't they? Not the big parties. I'm talking about the times when you go for a walk or stay up late talking or read together in the same room and don't even talk. The times when you drink hot chocolate together or get ice cream in the middle of the night or get really silly for no reason at all except for the fact that you're with someone you feel comfortable enough to be really silly around.

We have to work at these relationships - karov Hashem l'chol kor'av. God is close to those who call Him. Relationships take work, they take initiative, they take thoughtfulness, sensitivity, and sincerity. But the kind of work they require is not anything elaborate. It's the simple every day stuff. It's the ordinary times people spend together that are the strongest treasures.

Breakfast: The Most Important Meal Of The Day

[Side note: Apparently, this is a very tzioni blog. If you google "l'shana haba'ah b'Yerushalayim" (in all various spellings, and even leaving out the 'haba'ah' part, except if you write 'leshana'), this blog is the first hit that comes up!]

We have a tradition in my house that each time we break our fast (except the daily morning breakfast), we have Entenmann's doughnuts (my favorite: a tie between cinnamon powder and white powder). This year, we forgot to get doughnuts on Friday. We still had bagels, but after we were finished with those, I said, "Does anyone else want...dessert?"

"I could use a piece of cake..." said my mom.

"Alright Erachet," said my dad. "Go to 7-Eleven and get us one of those nice crumb cakes."

"Well...Ima, do you really want?"

My mom shrugged.

"Hmmm. But I'm all in pajamas and everything!"

"I'm fine with whatever you decide," said my dad. "If you don't want to go, don't go."

"Hmmm..."

"Mavis, you go with her."

"Mavis has a math test to study for," my mom reminded everyone.

"And I have grad school essays to write!" I protested.

"Alright, nobody go. We don't need Entenmann's."

"Yeah, it's not even good for you, anyway! Who needs that stuff?"

"Well, I didn't mean that," I corrected hastily. "I just mean that if I can go, he can go."

"Okay, I'll go," my dad relented.

"No, no!" I said hurriedly. "I'll go."

After all, it was right after Yom Kippur!

"How about you both go," said my mom. "One of you drives, the other runs out."

"Well, I mean, I'm okay with not having..." I said, really not wanting to go out. "I mean, if no one else really wants anyway... I think I'd rather not go."

"Okay."

Pause.

"Unless, of course, someone really wants."

Everyone sort of shrugged.

"Whatever you want to do," said my mom.

Pause.

"Okay, raise your hand if you want Entenmann's," said my dad.

Everyone's hands slowly rose into the air - each of us with a somewhat guilty, apologetic expression.

"Okay, let's go," I said to my dad. "Before we change our minds and get too lazy. I'll drive, you run out."

"What?! That's not how it's supposed to go! I'll drive and you run out!"

"Fiiiiine."

"Actually...we'll both go out because I have to make sure they have the right things..."

"LET'S JUST GO."

And so we went.

...The things we do for Entenmann's.

Welcome To The Kitchen

"Has anyone been listening to me?" asks Ima, the menu for all our Rosh Hashana meals on a pad of paper in front of her at the table.

"Yes, yes," says Straight Man.

"Alright," Ima smirks. "What are we having tomorrow night for dinner?"

"Umm...challah, apples, honey..."

"New fruit!" Mavis exclaims. "What are we having for our new fruit?"

"I dunno..." Ima says teasingly.

"You know...what is it?"

"It's a surprise."

Mavis flings open the fridge and pulls out something long and green.

"It's this!"

"Mavis!" cries Ima. "That's a cucumber."

.................................................

Shana tova, everyone! May you all have a meaningful yom tov with inspiring tefilla and tables surrounded by warmth, camaraderie, fun, family, and friends. May you all be written in the book of life and may your tefillos be answered.

Full House?

Tonight my brother Mavis said something that really hit me. He said, "Tonight all four of us are sleeping here, but tomorrow night it's just me."

It's true. Tonight is the last night for a while when all four kids are home at once. Tomorrow night I'll be in my apartment in the Heights, Straight Man will be in YU, and Trademark will be on the plane to her year in Israel.

It's funny - when I went to my year in Israel, I was leaving a completely different kind of house behind. I'm the oldest, so everyone was still at home while I was away. I was incredibly homesick for months after I left, and it would get worse when I went to different families for chagim and Shabbos. We have many friends in Israel who used to live in my community and although I loved going to them for Shabbos, and though going there gave me some of that family feeling that I didn't have at school, I would feel even more homesick in some ways. There was family life going on around me, but I wasn't part of it. I felt somehow...outside. I would be reminded of my own family and how I wasn't there. I would get jealous of the siblings bantering with each other and play-wrestling. I would feel this dull ache that seemed like it would only get soothed by going over to my own little brother and punching him in the shoulder or having my own sister tell me how to wear my clothes. What was worse - I knew this sort of thing was still going on at my house. It's just that it was going on without me. A whole year of sibling camaraderie went by, a whole year of everyone in my family growing, both physically and as people. A time when I called home one day and an unrecognizable male voice answered who turned out to be my brother.

I remember being jealous of the British girls because it was so easy for them to go home - only a five hour flight! Compared to ten or eleven hours, that felt like nothing! Like flying from New York to California! Both New York and California felt equally like home at those times, even though I'd never even been to California. I felt like if I could at least be in the same country as my family, I'd feel better. I never got homesick in camp. I wasn't the homesick kind, I thought. But it was this feeling that my family was so far away, that I couldn't even call them any hour of the day I wanted because sometimes it was the middle of the night for them.

I know how Trademark feels when she does things like beg me to keep her updated on all my dating adventures.

"But, Trademark, going on one date with a guy is not that exciting."

"Okay, but if you start going on a few dates, you have to tell me!"

One time when I was in Israel, I called home and was so upset that I asked my mother to just tell me what they all were doing. She described what they were having for dinner and how everyone was sitting around the table...

In some ways, Trademark is leaving behind a different kind of house. We're not all going to be sitting around the table on a random weeknight. Though Straight Man and I are not too far away, we're not really living at home anymore either - especially me. Most of the time, it's just going to be my parents and Mavis. And what if Mavis goes away for Shabbos?

My family is at the point in our collective family life where everyone is off doing his or her own thing. It's not one person away and everyone else still in the status quo as far as home life. It's everyone coming and going at various frequencies.

More than ever before in my house, there was a lot of packing and moving going on this summer. For me, I'm really looking forward to having Straight Man live in the same city as me. For a while, we were hardly in the same country. I know we probably won't see each other a lot - especially as he's on a rigorous YU schedule, but it's nice to know he's there, all the same.

For Trademark - I hope she has a spectacular year in Israel, whatever kind of year it turns out to be. And I will miss her a lot. Our house is going to get a lot...quieter...

And for Mavis - He should enjoy having the house to himself, and everything that comes with it. :)

So tonight there are six people in this house. Tomorrow night, there will be three.

...My family is growing up.

One Step Forward

It feels like the end of this year signifies a step forward for most people I know. Of my own peer group, we've graduated college. A close friend of mine just got a job. Another close friend of mine is going to have her first baby. Two good friends are getting married this month. My brother is starting YU in the fall. And my sister graduated high school today.

A huge mazel tov goes to Trademark and my cousins Tree and F1 all on their high school graduations.

Trademark graduated from my old high school and it was kind of funny to notice how not much had changed. The girls were different. Hair styles were different. One of the assistant principals was different. But...that was about it.

When Trademark wanted to take a picture with the principal afterward, the principal asked me to be in the picture, too. She wished me luck in figuring out what my next step in life will be, as though not a day had passed since I had been one of her students.

It seems a lot of people get mazel tovs this summer. So mazel tov to you all.

It also seems as though lots of people are taking one distinctive step forward in life. I wish all of you much hatzlacha in all that you will face and, knowing you guys, I know you'll all handle everything with poise, grace, firmness, seriousness, and humor (yes, all of those together). I believe that if you smile at the world, the world will smile back at you. And yet none of you are too frivolous. You take your lives seriously, but with a smile all the same. Kol hakavod and may you continue to be wonderful people and excel at life.

What Comes Around

Today, in honor of Mother's Day, we went to visit my grandparents. A large part of visiting my grandparents usually includes listening to my grandfather tell stories from his past. Today we got on the subject of his meeting my grandmother.

"And then we went on our first date...to Radio City Music Hall. They only played cinema back then."

"Wait a minute," said my dad. "Radio City Music Hall? Wasn't our first date at Radio City Music Hall?"

"Yes," my mom nodded. "We went to a concert."

Both generations looked a bit taken aback at their having gone to the same place on their first dates. And my grandfather asked my grandmother out at a social event in the Upper West Side. My own parents met that way, as well.

That was cool thing #1.

Cool thing #2 was when my grandfather was talking about first coming to America from England. He was waiting on line to be officially accepted into the country and the person behind him asked if he had any family there. My grandfather said yes, on 181st street. That was where he was going.

Immediately I thought of going to hear Ezzie's speech about his Jewish Economics Survey (if you don't read Ezzie's blog, that's this survey, which you should take!) and getting out of the subway at the 181st street stop. That's Washington Heights. That's where I'm (hopefully) going to be living next year. And that's where my grandfather first started in this country.

It's just funny the way things change...and the way they stay exactly the same, too. Ma'aseh avot siman l'banim, huh? :)

Wholesome

For any of you who know my family, probably the best word to describe us is wholesome. Today we were especially so, first going to the park, then going bowling, and then playing a family game of Boggle (with a family trip to Bed Bath and Beyond in between).

As a kid, I never appreciated just how wonderful growing up in a wholesome family is. In some ways, I didn't understand it. I thought all families were that way unless there were lots of older kids.

I am an oldest and, that being the case, I was not used to big people being in the house when I was small; I did not understand the way things worked when there were older siblings around. I was afraid of people's older brothers (well - they were all so big!) and much too shy of their older sisters. Most of all, I didn't know what it meant for a family to not all be on the same schedule.

At my own house, we were all home between four and five, at which point we would all eat dinner together (except my father, who was always still at work). Sometimes our mother would eat with us, sometimes she would wait for our father to get home. Regardless, she always sat with us, asked us about our day, and got us started on our homework when dinner was over.

After homework, we would run outside and play with the neighbors until bedtime. By that point, it would have gotten darker and colder so gradually that we wouldn't even have noticed it until we came indoors and started to thaw.

We would be in bed by eight (or 8:30, when we got old enough), with our mother saying shema with us and singing hamalach. Our nightlights reassuringly lit, she would shut our doors and we would all drift off to sleep (or stay up and eavesdrop on anything interesting going on downstairs).

The routine was not always like this at other people's houses - especially people with older siblings. I remember going to friends and having to put together our own dinner. That was confusing to me. Why wasn't everyone eating dinner together? Where was this person's mother?

At friends, we wouldn't always get put to bed, either. And there were sometimes too many people around. Big people who did things that were loud and foreign and intrusive on childhood, like sisters blowdrying hair and putting on makeup, or brothers thumping around like they were giants. I almost expected them to shout, "Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!" every time they passed by.

I was aware at a very young age that the more older siblings in a house, the less routine there seemed to be. Everyone appeared to be doing their own thing, was on their own schedule, lived in their own world.

But not in my house. In my house, everyone lived in the same world. Sure, we had different friends, different interests, etc. But when we were at home together, we existed in the same place in a way I didn't feel in some other people's houses. I think a lot of this had to do with my not being used to a world more sophisticated than my own. Girls my own age were part of something older and more grown up than I was because they were exposed to it in their houses.

Sometimes I felt I was missing something, but as I started growing up a little, I began to understand just how unique and important it is for a family to share a world with each other. That is what my family does, even now that we are all older. We are that wholesome family who plays catch with each other and goes on family picnics. We play games together and enjoy each other's company. We don't have any major family feuds.

I used to wonder what I would be like if I lived in a different family. Would I be shy of them? Would I be myself? Would I be a different person altogether? Would I be happy? Would they understand me?

The older I get, the more I appreciate how lucky I am to have been raised in a family like the one I have. We make many choices in our lives concerning ourselves, but one thing we don't have a choice about is our family. So when you find you are part of a great one, it's something to feel lucky about.

That is why I love being part of such a wholesome family. And I hope one day when I have my own, it will be just as wholesome.

(P.S. Happy Birthday, Straight Man, who is no longer a teenager, and who was Thing 2 to me for a long time.)

Three Whole Hands

Not only is it Rosh Chodesh Adar, but it is also my little brother Mavis's English birthday. These two are inherently related because Mavis has always been a rather Adar/Purimish sort of person. In fact, his Hebrew birthday is Purim. He's always been very happy, a bit of a troublemaker, and certainly in the business of making people laugh. One of my mother's favorite stories about him was when my parents took him to meet the principal of his new school for kindergarten. The principal, who already knew Straight Man as, well, a yashar sort of kid, smiled over his desk at little Mavis and said, "how old are you? Five?"
Mavis shook his head.
"No?" The principal asked. "How old are you then?"
Mavis looked up at the rabbi before him, raised up his palm - fingers spread out - and said, "I'm a whole hand."
The principal looked at my mother and said, "He's not like Straight Man, is he."
It wasn't a question.

Mavis is certainly his own breed, but we all love him for it.

He's the only sibling I really remember visiting in the hospital as a baby. I remember visiting my sister Trademark vaguely, but I remember the white powdered doughnuts Straight Man and I got to eat more than I remember actually seeing my baby sister (I actually don't remember her at all - only the doughnuts). What I remember most about visiting Mavis as a baby was how much he looked like a bobblehead doll. Straight Man, who was nearly five at the time, then proceeded to go to school and tell everyone that he had a new baby brother named Achashverosh.

It was a strange purim that year. My brother, sister, and I woke up to a house with no parents (at least, the way I remember it). Somehow we knew what had happened before we were told. I remember Straight Man and I stumbling down the stairs to our babysitter and asking in rushed, excited voices, "did they go to the hospital? Huh? Did they?" I remember exactly the blue of the stairs and the emptiness in the house that wasn't quite emptiness. It was more like hugeness. The sun was shining brightly through the window and there was snow. Lots and lots of snow. Then we got hoisted off to friends and stood around awkwardly unsure what to do with ourselves in all the excitement. At some point our father came back and someone read megillah to him in a bedroom.

(By the way Ima, I'm sorry if I got any of that badly wrong. That's how my mind tells me it went)

Two years ago, it was my brother's bar mitzvah and instead of doing the parsha on shabbos, he lained megillah on the day of his actual birthday. Then we had a costume party and it was exceedingly cool. For this year, my brother has already started practicing to lain again (he did it last year, too), so when you start hearing that in my house, you know Purim's only 'round the corner.

Anyway, happy birthday Mavis (who is now three whole hands!) and chodesh tov to all my readers! :D

A Roundup Of My Life These Past Weeks

1. A new semester means lots of things. New classes, new books, new classmates to interact with, the strengthening of old friendships, and even new displays of humor in the elevator:

2. Starting off the semester sick is not the ideal of beginnings, but I did learn a valuable lesson: Nyquil takes approximately 100% too long to wear off. I took some last night and not only did I still wake up in the middle of the night coughing, I now also feel fuzzy in my head, like my legs are made of jelly, and like I need to just lay down and sleep for a number of years. I mean, I was tired before, but now I feel drugged. However, I did have a much deeper sleep last night so I suppose that, at least, is a plus.

3. It took me a surprisingly short amount of time to get used to having a Mac and not that much longer to turn into a huge fan. It's true what they say, there really are amazing graphics on here. And really cool features like simple finger swiping combinations on the track pad to do all sorts of things you can't even do at all on a PC. Don't get me wrong, there's a part of me deep inside that misses having a PC. But I love my new Mac. I'm increasingly happier I got a Mac instead of a PC, especially as, each day, I discover new awesome things I can do on here.

Anyway, Macs: highly recommended.

4. My parents' 25th anniversary was yesterday! I went home 'specially (though now I am back in school for the senior class shabbos) and my siblings and I got my parents an ice cream cake (the chocolate crunchies are the best part of ice cream cakes, of course). If my parents had not gotten married 25 years ago, I would not be here! So happy anniversary to them!


Have a great Shabbos, everyone!

Daf Yummies

Mavis invented a concept called "Daf Yummies." I assume it's a kind of candy. I think these should really exist.

Straight Man invented a concept called "TGIK" which stands for "Thank God It's Kosher" and is a chain of restaurants in random places where you would not think of finding kosher food. These should really exist, too.

Chag sameach everyone!

Gullible's Travels

Sometime tonight, my parents were discussing how I am gullible (I am, by the way. Very). In the course of the short conversation, my dad commented, "Isn't there a book called Gullible's Travels?"
My mom and I both laughed and corrected him.
"No, Abba, It's Gulliver's Travels."
But then I thought, hmm, Gullible's Travels would make a very funny parody of Gulliver's Travels and, come to think of it, Gulliver is rather gullible...
And that was when I remembered my English teacher from Survey of English Lit. II saying that Gulliver was supposed to sound like 'gullible.'
And then I just felt satisfied that everything seemed to be in order in the world.
Thank God for English classes.

Kadesh, Urchatz, Karpas, Yachatz...

At last, a Pesach post!

So today my sister and I spent a long time working on the seder table. We're having my cousins over for the first days (so that's two families - four adults and seven kids all together), two sets of grandparents, and then us (my family is six all together) so that makes twenty-one people on the first night, and a possible twenty-second on the second (another cousin might be coming from the other side of the family). That's a lot of people to seat around the table. We have four tables pushed together so everyone can fit, so my sister and I had to make place cards for everyone. Otherwise it's too crazy to have everyone try to find seats.

We usually make place cards but this year we wanted to do something cute with them. So for the first night, inside each place card is another phrase from "Adir Hu," so when we get up to it, each person can shout out his/her phrase (yes, we're a really corny family :) it's awesome). For the second night, inside each place card is either a line answering the question "__ mi yodeah?" from "Echad, mi yodeah" or a personality from Chad Gadya. It was a lot of fun making them and drawing little pictures on each one, but it got a bit tedious. Then we had to figure out where everyone was sitting because my mom told me to put families together, but there are certain cousins who want to sit together, too, so it got a bit complicated. But finally, it was all worked out.

We also have felt masks for the Chad Gadya personalities and for the makot. They're really funny. And we have these little dolls for each of the makot, too, scattered around the table, and these little plastic frogs with flipper things on them that you hold down and then let go and they flip. Hopefully they'll keep everyone entertained throughout the seder, especially maggid which can get long for some of the younger cousins.

Right now I'm so hungry because there's hardly anything to eat today. It's frustrating not being able to eat chametz but also not being able to each matzah or anything else we'll be eating at the seder, either. Every year on this day, my mom (or one of my aunts, whoever's hosting the seder that year - we switch off houses annually) makes a stew which we eat all afternoon since there's basically nothing else. That, and we usually have pesach chocolate chip cookies which I seem to remember tasting better than they actually do. I guess everything's relative. They do taste better than a lot of other kosher l'pesach food. We completely stopped buying those cereals (fruity o's, honey stars, etc.). They taste worse than eating cardboard. Really vile. And macaroons are even worse. Ew. But that's mostly because I really don't like coconut. My dad likes macaroons, I think. But he likes a lot of interesting foods (like all these weird, random juices with green algae and spinach and other green, healthy things that definitely were not meant to be in beverages).

Anyway, I wish you all a chag kasher v'sameach!

The End of an Era

My brother asked me to write a post about his championship hockey game, so here goes. First of all, here's Mochassid's take on it.

My brother has been playing hockey for a while now, first starting a team in his elementary school when in eight grade, and then moving on to join the hockey team in his high school in ninth. He won two championships while on the team, getting MVP in tenth grade, and has served as team captain both in tenth grade and this year (twelfth), as well as this year being assistant coach to the J.V. team. Sadly, I have not been able to attend most of his games due to either being in school or having way, way too much schoolwork to do, and the one other game I did attend, being at Haftr where there is absolutely nowhere to watch the game, I couldn't see a thing and my sister and I ended up going out for ice cream in the middle. I always did regret being somewhat out of the hockey loop, though, especially since the rest of my family (besides perhaps my sister) was so into it. I happen to love hockey, as well, and always wished there was some way I could play. In high school I helped start hockey intramural teams but it didn't really go anywhere.

In any case, back to my brother. Even though I hardly went to any games, I could tell that being part of the hockey team was good for him. He got a chance to be part of a great group of boys who became household names in our house and, though he is somewhat reserved and mild-tempered, he makes a great leader and was able to develop those skills by being team captain both in J.V. and Varsity. I hear the J.V. kids this year liked him a lot as their assistant coach, too. All in all, it was a good experience for him, which was obvious even to me, who didn't see him much in action.

I also always appreciated how he was so well-behaved during a game. I hardly ever heard stories of him getting penalties or getting into fights with any other boys on the other teams. At the championship game last week, he got two penalties which he said were more penalties than he had gotten all season. That says something about his character.

Although his team lost in this year's championship, they lost with dignity. They played a great game, especially my brother who got the only goal (with a beautiful assist from MG. It was really an amazing play - clean, neat, both boys knew what they were doing, it wasn't one of those dinky goals that can sometimes happen). Besides for my brother's two penalties (which I think happened because he really, really, really wanted to win this, his last championship game in high school ever), the team (both teams, actually) played a very clean game, which was indicative of the decency of all the boys, and great coaching for them by L. And even though they lost, it was a very exciting game. I had to stand on a chair the entire time so I could actually see what was going on (since I'm kind of short and next to me there was a huge mob of boys wearing green paint on their faces and spraying green silly-string everywhere which smelled awful and kept getting in my hair).

I think that sometimes it is good to lose. It's always nice to win, but losing can sometimes put things into perspective. Hockey is fun and being part of a team is a great thing, but it is not the be all and end all. There is life after hockey. My brother had a great career on his high school hockey team, but now he is getting ready to move on to bigger things. I wish him much luck with that and with anything else he comes across in the future.